last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
