How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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