Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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