Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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