youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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