jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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