No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
