i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
