i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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