Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
