Quick, to the slutcave!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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