this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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