i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
