I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
