we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
