you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
