is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
