Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
