All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
please come you make the beer taste better
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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