Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
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He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
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you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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