pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
