babies were throwing up all over the place
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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