They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
