nut hugger
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
