thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
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We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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