i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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