One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
