It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize