mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Are we still banned from the library?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My vagina just clenched in fear
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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