So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
