you didnt know i had herpes?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
