maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I forgot wine drunk hurts
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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