Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
