it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
