I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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