Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
