its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
