Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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