I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize