i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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