Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
sarcasm needs its own font
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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