i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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