Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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