I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
