I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
