How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
