I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize