If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
