No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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