come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
