worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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