i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
