Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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