Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize